One month of silence passed like the falling tide, taking the ache of you receding with each passing moment.
But it never disappeared.
And then you called.
“Hi, Mia.”
“Hi.”
“I know I’ve… I’m sorry –”
“Just be honest.”
“The treatment isn’t working. She…”
“Come over.”
I hung up, sticky disgust curdling in my stomach where it met the pleasure clawing my power back from you.
***
But I cared too much.
We didn’t speak when you arrived. I just hugged you, dragging you gently into the bedroom until we could collapse there. I pulled your head onto my lap, winding my fingers through your hair in the hopes that they might smooth the sharpest edges of your pain where they went.
“Tell me what you need.”
For all I wanted to give you the same steadiness you’d always offered me, my voice couldn’t carry it. Desperation seeped into the words, a silent plea to let me serve you again – the sound of it made me cringe. That even now I would ask so much of you… Shame dripped through me.
“I need to forget.”
I hummed. “Sleep?”
Your hand slipped its way under my skirt, tracing its way up the soft skin of my thigh.
“Let me be less than myself.”
I swallowed. I would give you anything, but for you to ask me this after leaving me for so long… And you were so lost, too lost maybe to even know what you were asking for.
“Alexander… We can’t.”
Your hand paused, and I ached as I felt the shock of it jolt through you.
I’d never said no before.
“Why, Mia?”
“You were gone for a long time, and I didn’t know if you would come back…”
Your hand fell fully away from me now. You even tried to roll away from me, but I wouldn’t let you. I couldn’t let you go, not really.
“You found someone else, then.”
I staggered under the weight of the word I had to speak, my throat choking around it.
“Yes.”
I tasted the acrid failure the word carried, even though it had no reason to.
“Let me go, Mia.”
“No.”
The word was almost a sob.
I had to make you understand.
“I’m angry with you.”
My voice broke, shattering into pieces as small as I felt. I hated the weakness of it, but we’d always agreed that honesty came before anything else. I wouldn’t take it back.
You stopped pushing against my arms at my words, huffing out a hollow laugh.
“I’m the one who should be angry.”
“What was I to you, Alexander? Or no – what do you think you were to me?”
My face burned. I saw your answer in your silence – whatever you felt for me, the sting of how much I felt for you was stronger. You wouldn’t humiliate me, not with how much I cared for you.
I continued.
“That person… They know it isn’t forever, what I’m doing with them. They even know you’re here, now. And I think they know how much I want this. I think they would allow it.”
I swallowed.
“But I couldn’t betray them like that. Not only because they doesn’t deserve it, not with all the kindness and structure they’ve given me since you left, but also because it would show you that I was less than I am. I am loyal, Alexander. Always.”
Whatever fight had been in you left you now. The last scraps of it were left only in your hand, clinging desperately to my wrist.
“So what do we do now, then?”
I hadn’t known the tension in my body until it left me. This was not the end, and though the path from here wasn’t clear yet, we could walk it.
“I don’t know, Alexander. Either way, sex isn’t what you need right now. You need to rest. You’ve been carrying everything for too long now – let me hold some of it too.”
You curled against me, finally finding your place against me. This was what I needed – not to have you in a way that I couldn’t, but to repay every kindness you’d given me with care of my own. I smoothed your hair down, grateful that the person I was serving now allowed me this indulgence.
I would talk to them later. Even with how little time we’d had together, they knew how to help me navigate the echoes of my heart.
“I didn’t… I didn’t want to weigh you down, Mia.”
Your voice came out with a creak of sleepiness. You were slipping away already – perhaps all you’d needed this whole time was for someone to give you permission.
I sighed.
“I’m stronger than you think, Alexander. Never doubt that.”
You didn’t respond, already having sunk into the gentle rise and fall of my stomach.
You’d always made me feel safe.
Now it was my turn.
(A/N: Reminder to all the submissives out there to show their dom as much care as they show you <3)
(PS: This is the non-erotic version of this story – read this one if you’re looking for more heat)
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